Left or Right? Either Will Do

June 4, 2014July 8, 2014Sue Archer 10 Comments

Have you ever had to decide between two options that looked equally good (or equally bad)? It’s like being in a Choose Your Own Adventure book, where the page number you pick can lead to either the villain’s defeat or your own death. (And it’s always death by quicksand, or alligators, or something similarly dreadful.)

But both of the paths looked so inviting…
Image Credit: P L Chadwick. Source: Wikimedia Commons. CC BY-SA 2.0

It can be just as hard to write a sentence that describes two equal things or ideas. Luckily, there are some handy connecting words that can help you pull everything together. These words are called correlative conjunctions.

Correlative conjunctions always come in pairs, so they are easy to spot (unlike those sneaky alligators). Examples of these conjunctions are

both….and

not only…but also

whether…or

either…or

neither…nor

The tricky part is figuring out where to put these words in your sentence.

Since correlative conjunctions connect two equal items, both of these items should have a parallel grammatical structure. This is easy to miss when you are in the middle of writing. Let’s create our own adventure to see how correlative conjunctions can help you to balance your sentences.

Choose Your Own Adventure: Magic or Mayhem

Both Jadeira and Karlon despised the evil Queen. ✓

[Our adventurers, Jadeira and Karlon, are both proper nouns. So the two of them are grammatically parallel.]

The Queen was not only a vile sorceress, but also a grasping tyrant. ✓

[Both a vile sorceress and a grasping tyrant have the same structure—article (a) / adjective (vile, grasping) / noun (sorceress, tyrant). So the two items are parallel. But look at what would happen if we wrote this sentence differently…]

The Queen not only was a vile sorceress, but also a grasping tyrant. ✕

[In this case, the first item starts with a verb (was) and the second item starts with an article (a). So we know we’re in trouble, and we haven’t even seen any alligators yet!]

The two companions debated whether to take the left path towards the town (and obtain reinforcements) or take the right path towards the Queen’s lair (and confront the Queen immediately). ✓

[This is a long sentence, and could definitely use some editing. But it is grammatically parallel. You can see that whether works a bit differently from the other correlative conjunctions. The parallel items don’t always follow directly after the word whether. In this case, the parallel items are following the infinitive to.]

As a result of their choice, they would either achieve a stunning victory or suffer a gruesome and bitter defeat. ✓

[Grammatical parallelism does not mean that everything has to be identical. Both of the items above start with a verb (achieve, suffer) and are followed by a noun phrase. As long as the pattern of each item is similar, you are on the right path.]

Neither Jadeira nor Karlon could decide on the best course of action. ✓

[In sentences like these, we use neither/nor rather than either/or. This is because we are replacing the negative word not: “Jadeira and Karlon could not decide.”]

Jadeira looked at Karlon. “You still have that silver coin?”

Karlon pulled the coin from his pocket, preparing to flip it.

Both adventurers were so focused on the coin that they did not see the giant alligators lurking in the water…

If you agree that Jadeira and Karlon should be eaten by the giant alligators, turn to page 32.

If you would rather get eaten by alligators than suffer through another grammar lesson, then you are on the wrong page. Go to another blog, and enjoy!

If you have thoughts to share about this grammar lesson, go to the bottom of this page. Make a comment.

THE END

(P.S. This post is dedicated to Nicole de Courval, who suggested that I write about either and neither. If you have a topic idea for a post, please contact me. I love writing about thorny grammar challenges!)

How to Make First Contact

May 26, 2014July 8, 2014Sue Archer 12 Comments

Calling up a stranger on the phone can be intimidating. It’s like you’re on the bridge of a spaceship making first contact with an alien species. If the conversation goes wrong, you may end up causing an interplanetary incident. Or at least get yelled at.

I used to work in a call centre as part of a customer relations team. Our job was to call customers who had complained about our company’s products and resolve the situation. When I first took on that job, I had doubts about my survival. How could I possibly talk to upset people every day? It turned out to be the best learning experience I have ever had. I now feel confident that I could ring up the Grand Poobah of Alpha Centauri and not break into a sweat. Why? Because I’ve learned how to master first contact.

The first thirty seconds of a phone conversation are critical. Here are five things I’ve learned about how to create a good first impression:

1. Watch what you eat before you call.

Never make an important call right after you have eaten a large lunch. Your body is too busy digesting to have any energy for brain work. And stay away from certain types of foods. Dairy foods, for example, can thicken up your throat and make it harder for you to speak clearly. Drink some water before you pick up the phone. And whatever you do, stay away from that spicy alien food!

The incomparable Alan Rickman as Dr. Lazarus in Galaxy Quest

2. Prepare your first sentence ahead of time.

Think about your purpose for calling. After you get through the initial greeting, what is the first thing you are going to say? How will you start the conversation? Everyone is busy, so you need to cover off your key message in the first sentence. You could be selling services, responding to an inquiry, or asking nicely for those energy weapons to be pointed away from your ship. Whatever your purpose, plan it out so you don’t stumble on it during the call.

3. Smile.

A strange but true fact: when you smile while talking over the phone, the tone of your voice automatically changes. Even if you are feeling grumpy, force yourself to smile as you talk. You will sound friendly and approachable. Try it. Right now. See? It works! And because you’re on the phone, it doesn’t matter how fake it looks. (Although those aliens probably wouldn’t be able to tell anyway.)

Those Thermians from Galaxy Quest haven't quite mastered the human smile yet...but they're working on it!

The friendly Thermians from Galaxy Quest haven’t quite mastered the human smile…but they’re working on it!

4. Start with a greeting.

It’s amazing how often people forget to say a simple “Hello” before launching into a speech. “Hello” is an amazing word. It means “I acknowledge that we are about to have a conversation, and I’m happy to have the chance to speak with you as a fellow traveler through the universe.” Don’t skip this! A greeting ritual is valued by all beings as a sign of respect. (And saying “Hello” is much easier than trying to bend your hand into a Vulcan “live long and prosper” gesture.)

5. Get the name right.

No one wants to listen to their name get mangled. It doesn’t matter that there are no apparent vowel sounds in WxrtHltl-jwlpklz. That is no excuse. Look up the name, and if you can’t find it on the internet, take your best guess and go with it. Then ask, “Have I pronounced your name correctly?” before you speak any further.

Now that I’ve covered off the secrets to a successful first contact, it’s time to go eat lunch. Mr./Ms. Reader, it’s been wonderful speaking with you. Thank you for your time. May you have a fabulous day!

Science fiction, fantasy and communicating everything else

May 21, 2014September 13, 2014Sue Archer 2 Comments

Here’s a great post from Andrew on how science fiction and fantasy can teach us valuable life lessons. Enjoy!

Andrew Knighton writes

You know what’s great about science fiction and fantasy writing? There are lessons for everything in life. Everything, I tell you.

Other means of communication

Let me start with the example that inspired this piece, Sue Archer’s Doorway Between Worlds blog. Sue works as a business analyst in the IT industry as well as being a big sf+f fan. So she’s taken those two interests and jammed them together, writing a blog that draws lessons in communication from science fiction and fantasy. That’s awesome. That’s grabbing people’s interest and attention and then showing them something valuable. By combining two different areas it sheds new light on both.

Many of us live by the words of wisdom given by Yoda. Many of us learned about the slippery path to oppression by watching Babylon 5. Many of us have taken heart from the humble courage of Sam in Lord of the Rings. Fiction itself…

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Tale of a Sentence Vampire Hunter

May 19, 2014July 8, 2014Sue Archer 16 Comments

All my life, I’ve been warned about the danger of sentence vampires. They suck the lifeblood out of words until you are too lethargic to read anything. Their paths are littered with the corpses of dynamic verbs and the ghosts of active clauses. Sentence vampires fly under the radar, hoping that people won’t notice their existence until it’s too late. But I know better. Family writing lore has told me that I am destined to fight them. I am a sentence vampire hunter. And you can become one, too!

They may be sparkly, but they’re still vampires. Beware!

Where to Find Sentence Vampires, Part 1: Linking Verbs

To hunt sentence vampires, you need to know where to find them.

Linking verbs are a good place to start, because they are a primary source of low-energy sentences. These verbs describe the subject of a sentence. They talk about what someone is thinking, feeling, sensing, or becoming. The most common linking verb is to be, but there are many others.

Linking verbs are very different from high-energy dynamic verbs, which describe actions. (I staked the vampire.) Using too many linking verbs on a page creates the perfect environment for sentence vampires. These literary predators are constantly in search of passive victims who don’t have the energy to run away. Let me tell you a tale of linking verbs, to show you what I mean.

***

In a sleepy small town, a sentence vampire weaves his way through the party guests at a local bar. He is searching for young people who use linking verbs. Linking verb users are his preferred victims. They are too lazy to do anything but talk, and are easy to capture. He zeroes in on a group of self-absorbed young girls who are gossiping using linking verbs.

“She seemed out of it today.”

“And didn’t she smell weird?”

“That’s because she is weird.”

“I think she’s crazy.”

The other guests near the girls are bored listening to their low-energy linking verbs. Their attention is on the football game, where action is happening. This is a perfect opportunity for the vampire to strike.

One of the girls catches sight of the vampire. She thinks he looks handsome. As he mesmerizes her with his glowing eyes, she murmurs, “I feel funny.” She passively follows the vampire. Her friends are too busy talking. They don’t notice anything. They are surrounded by linking verbs and are unable to act. Eventually they look around, but she is already gone.

***

Where to Find Vampires, Part 2: Passive Voice

Sentence vampires also like to hang around the passive voice. In a passive voice sentence, the person performing an action goes at the end of the sentence, or is left out altogether. This is in contrast to the active voice, where the acting person comes first in the sentence. The passive voice creates long sentences that wear out a reader. It can be hard for the reader to identify who performed the action.

Vampires love low-energy passive voice sentences. These sentences make it easier for them to avoid responsibility for their actions. Wondering what happened to the vampire victim in my earlier tale? Let’s find out, and see how the passive voice makes the vampires happy.

***

The next day, the town is abuzz. A girl was found abandoned by the roadside, suffering from a rare combination of anemia and amnesia. The sheriff holds a press conference in front of the town hall. Despite the clear evidence of sentence vampires, she doesn’t want the town to panic. So she tries to downplay the situation by using the passive voice. Her use of the passive voice allows the sheriff to avoid talking about vampires and the police’s responsibility to find them.

“I can confirm that the victim was found by the roadside. It appears that the victim was abducted. All leads are being pursued. The public will be informed once further information is known.”

The sheriff escapes into her office. She is thankful that she didn’t have to say straight out in the active voice, “A vampire abducted one of our girls, and we have no idea what to do!” She’d never get re-elected.

Plus, she’d have to tell The Mayor…and you don’t want to see what he looks like when he gets angry. (Or hey, if you do, watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 3.)

The vampire watches the news conference from his lair and laughs silently. Once again passivity has taken over the town, and he has avoided being noticed. He is going to get away with it.

***

How to Destroy a Sentence Vampire

The best way to defeat a sentence vampire is to use the two things that they hate the most: action verbs and the active voice. Start most of your sentences with the person performing the action, and try to make that action a dynamic one. Then you, too, can be a successful sentence vampire hunter!

***

I watch the sheriff deny the existence of vampires using wimpy passive sentences, and I think not this time. I grab my writing tools and head for the outskirts.

I kick down the door and confront the vampire in his lair. The vampire laughs at me and attempts to capture my gaze. I shake off the effects of his eyes and shoot a crossbow bolt through the west-facing window. Sunlight streams in and surrounds the vampire in a fiery haze. The vampire screams and disintegrates into a pile of inky black dust.

I’ve finally brought the sentence vampire to light. My work in this town is done. It’s time to walk off into the sunset and move on to the next page. Such is the wandering life of a sentence vampire hunter…

DBW Receives the Liebster Award!

May 14, 2014July 8, 2014Sue Archer 20 Comments

This week my blog was nominated for a Liebster Award. For those of you who may not be familiar with it, it’s an award that brings attention to smaller blogs liked by fellow bloggers. If you’d like to check out the origins of this award, I found a great post on it here.

Eva from In the Garden of Eva nominated me for this award. Eva blogs about her career as a writer and makes fun observations about life and writing. Thanks so much for the nomination, Eva!

The rules for accepting this award keep changing over time. Here’s what they are today:

1. List 11 random facts about myself.
2. Answer 11 questions from the blogger who nominated me.
3. Nominate 11 more blogs who have less than 200 followers and let them know they’ve been nominated.
4. Post 11 new questions for those bloggers to answer (if they wish to accept the award—it’s completely optional).

Since this is bound to be a longer post, I am going to start with my nominations so I can highlight some great blogs. If you’re still with me after that, you are welcome to read All About Me!

I’m sticking with the spirit of the award by nominating blogs I have followed for a while that have a relatively small audience (under 300 followers) and have consistently posted great content. I’m new to the world of blogging, so I only have six of these blogs to nominate. To make up the difference, I’d like to highlight five other blogs that have too many followers to be nominated but are great sources of writing tips.

And the nominees are…

Andrew Knighton Writes – Andrew writes sci-fi/fantasy/steampunk fiction and pens thoughtful posts about the writing process, films, and publishing. He is a fellow Joss Whedon fan.

Brenna Layne – Brenna is a writer of YA fantasy fiction. I love the writing style of her posts, which cover a variety of personal and writing-related topics.

Diary of an Aspiring Writer – N J Magas is a writer of speculative fiction who wrote a great interactive A-Z series in April on favourite authors.

I Can’t Possibly Be Wrong All the Time – If you love Game of Thrones, then you definitely have to check out Pat’s blog. ‘Nuff said.

Writeaway – Joanne is a fantasy writer who recently published a post on self-doubt that completely blew me away.

Writing, Reading, and the Pursuit of Dreams – Lori is a reader and writer of fantasy who shares my love of The Princess Bride and wrote a fantastic A-Z series on favourite fictional characters.

11 Questions for the Nominees to Answer (should they choose to participate):

1. What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever had?
2. What’s the best book you’ve read in the past year?
3. What do you enjoy most about blogging?
4. What do you do when you’re having writers’ block?
5. Why do you like the fantasy/science fiction genre?
6. If you could meet anyone you wanted, who would it be?
7. Introvert or extrovert?
8. Fill in the blank: “Writing is like _____________.”
9. Who or what inspires you?
10. Why should people read and follow your blog?
11. What do you like to do when you’re not writing?

And here are five blogs that provide helpful writing tips (among other things):

Apoplectic Apostrophes

Change It Up Editing

Creative Writing with the Crimson League

Melissa Janda – A Time to Write

Write Through It

Thank you to everyone who has read and commented on my blog so far. I wish I could nominate all of you! And now, what you’ve been waiting for…(maybe)…All About Me!

11 Random Facts About Myself

1. I hate rhubarb.
2. I have always wanted to learn how to play the drums.
3. My favourite dessert is a Nanaimo bar.
4. My first major purchase was a typewriter (at age 8) because I wanted to write stories.
5. I am turning 40 this year, and I am still waiting to grow up.
6. I like to collect stones from the beach, when I actually get a chance to go there.
7. I am a huge Joss Whedon fan.
8. If I could have any superpower I wanted, I would pick flying.
9. I love to dance.
10. I once won a contest by singing “Let it Be” (I won theatre tickets).
11. I’m an introvert, so I don’t like talking about myself. Yay, it’s over! Oh, wait…

Answering 11 Questions

1. What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever had?

Selling those fun neon glowing bracelets and necklaces during concerts at a theme park. We got pulled out of the MC Hammer concert because it was too crowded. Go figure.

2. What’s the best book you’ve read in the past year?

It’s hard to pick—I read so many books! I loved Brandon Sanderson’s The Way of Kings. I recommend Sanderson for anyone who loves epic fantasy and detailed world-building. In non-fiction, I recently read Your Network is Your Net Worth by Porter Gale. Unlike the usual boring business books, this one was very helpful and actually inspired me to take notes.

3. What do you enjoy most about blogging?

The community of people I have met here. I love the conversations and the thoughts that everyone is sharing.

4. What do you do when you’re having writers’ block?

I go for a walk to clear my head. I have the best ideas when I am moving around!

5. What’s the weirdest/funniest comment you’ve ever received on your blog?

My blog hasn’t been around that long, so I can’t say that I’ve received any weird comments. The nicest comment I have received so far was from a reader who said that my posts could help her ESL students. I was thrilled to hear it!

6. What’s the best writers conference you’ve ever been to? (And if you’ve never been to one, what conference have you heard good things about?)

I haven’t been to a writer’s conference. I belong to the EAC (Editors’ Association of Canada), and I am looking forward to their annual conference in June. The EAC provides lots of great seminars on writing and editing topics.

7. What’s your Meyer’s Briggs Personality Type?

I’ve done this one a few times, and I keep coming out as INTJ. According to Wikipedia, that means I “possess the unusual trait of combining imagination and reliability.” Sounds good for a blog writer. I’ll take it!

8. Fill in the blank: “writing is like _____________.”

playing the piano. You need to pull everything together into a coherent whole, and if you’re doing it well, you find that zone of contentment.

9. Who is your dream literary agent?

I’m not looking for an agent, but if I needed one, I’d want someone who always had my back, truly believed in my writing, negotiated like a champ, and coached me through the whole process.

10. Why should people read and follow your blog?

I started this blog because I believed that people like to learn about communication, but are often turned off because they are intimidated by rules or bored with how ideas are presented. This is why I added in the sci-fi/fantasy slant on things. Anyone who wants to master grammar, build better relationships, speak with confidence, or write well will hopefully find some fun and useful tips in this blog!

11. If you died tomorrow, what would you miss most about your life?

Hugs. Lots of hugs from my family. You can never have enough hugs.

Thanks, everyone! Now, off to work on my next post…

You Can’t Get There from Here

May 12, 2014July 8, 2014Sue Archer 10 Comments

Navigating through a document can be treacherous. You don’t know what hazards may be out there. As you travel through the spaces between words, you are taking your life in your hands. Will your energy be drained away by disorganized or dense writing? Take heart—help is on the way.

How to find your way through the words (a survival guide)

When travelling through documents, there are three critical hazards that you may encounter:

Arriving at the wrong destination
Getting lost on the way
Freezing in the face of obstacles

In the event that one of these things happens to you, follow the procedures below. I guarantee you will survive!

Arriving at the wrong destination

You need to find a piece of information. You’ve identified a likely heading, and you run through the start-up sequence. With your destination locked, you step through the portal. But instead of arriving at the treasured Temple of Knowledge, you find yourself entering the Land of the Confused. Your Stargate scientists have messed up again. And now you can’t get back!

Stargate Dialing Sequence. Source: SGC.Alex on Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 3.0

The important thing is not to panic. Look around you and see if you have the materials to build any of the following:

An accurate table of contents with meaningful, consistent titles
An overview that summarizes the topics in the order that they appear
References to the locations of related items (your standard toolkit should have what you need to make hyperlinks)

If you can create any of these, then all may not be lost. Keep track of your rations and get moving, soldier!

Getting lost on the way

You know that your destination is the right one. All you need to do is fly through hyperspace from your current jumpgate to the next. Your path has been clearly laid out. But while you are moving through hyperspace, you collide with an unrelated sentence that damages your attention span. Or you are sucked into a gravity well of rambling thoughts that are putting you to sleep. Babylon 5 Control should never have sent you that close to Jupiter!

Don’t worry – you’re going to be okay!

Remember your training and take action:

Aim for paragraphs that cover a single idea
Look out for an opening sentence that introduces the topic of that paragraph and focus on it
Destroy all sentences that do not directly relate to that topic

Get back on the right path and fly on, pilot!

Freezing in the face of obstacles

It happens to everyone. You are speeding your way through the galaxy, and then suddenly you run into a wall of large and confusing word asteroids. You don’t want to damage your ship. But sometimes you need to take a risk and move on through. Otherwise you might as well give up the fight and let the Empire win!

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back Asteroid Field

From Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

Use your ship’s capabilities to get through the obstacles:

Launch your missiles and split large asteroid words into smaller ones
Use your tractor beam to pull apart dense text clusters and create white space on the page
Ask your ship’s computer (or that annoying protocol droid) to come up with alternative words that are not a threat

Now fire up that hyperdrive and go win the day!

Congratulations! You have found your way through the words of a hazardous document. Hopefully you have suffered minimal damage. Remember these tips for next time, and plan ahead before you start your journey!

Have you ever read something that you just couldn’t get through, or struggled with how to organize your own writing? Share your stories below…

Can You Read My Mind?

May 5, 2014March 20, 2015Sue Archer 16 Comments

Today, I’d like to share a story from the early days of my career. It’s the story of a dedicated manager, a clueless employee, and the complete failure of telepathic communication.

It’s the middle of a long afternoon. I’m thinking about going for a tea break when my manager storms into the room. She is visibly upset, and launches into an explanation of a crisis that one of our clients is having. I listen intently. While she is talking, my mind is churning. I am figuring out what I need to do to handle the problem. Just as I’ve solved it, my boss suddenly yells at me: “You’re not taking this seriously!”

All I can do is stare at her. Can’t she see that this problem is all I’m thinking about? While I am still in shock, she tells me to take care of it and stomps off. I don’t get a chance to explain. The thought there goes my performance rating drifts through my mind.

I learned an important lesson that day: People cannot read your mind.

(Aliens are a different story. Imagine if your manager was Martian Manhunter from the Justice League. Hmm, maybe not a good idea.)

Reveal your secrets to me…

The moral of the story? Since people can’t read your mind, you need to rely on what they can read:

Your words, which tell them what you are thinking.
Your expressions, which show them what you are feeling.
Your actions, which prove to them who you really are.

What could I have done differently in this situation?

Words

I didn’t say anything to my manager. I was too busy thinking about what I needed to do next, when I should have been focused on her.

People need to know that you are listening to them. Don’t just stand there in silence. Remember to respond by saying things like “Mmmhmmm” or “Yes?” or “That’s terrible!” Ask questions to show that you are taking them seriously. Repeat their words back to them in your own words, so that they know you have understood them.

Expressions

When I’m thinking deeply about something, I tend to put on my “poker face.” It can be hard to read my expression. It could mean boredom, or indifference, or deliberate blocking of negative thoughts (like “Wow, my boss is an idiot!”). I had my poker face on that day.

People need to know that you care about what they are saying. Since that day, I’ve worked at adding expression to my poker face. (Just like Data from Star Trek: TNG did in his quest to become more human.)

I hope I’m doing a better job than that, though! Ouch.

I have also learned to nod my head, lean toward the person who is speaking, and leave my arms uncrossed. All of these signals show that I am interested in what the other person has to say.

Actions

This was the only part I got right. After my manager left me, I got right on to solving that client problem. Later on, she thanked me for my work. I had demonstrated that I took the crisis seriously. But my manager might still wonder: Did I care because she yelled at me, or did I care because it was important to me? Luckily, I got other opportunities to prove myself and have her get to know who I am. Sometimes, all we get is one shot.

Don’t waste your opportunity. Make sure you use all three of your powers to reach a meeting of the minds. It’s almost as good as telepathy.

Have you ever experienced a time when someone failed to read you? Please share your stories below…