Rogue Words from A to Z: Jealous of Jewelry?

April 11, 2015April 13, 2015Sue Archer 52 Comments

Should I be jealous of your fabulously expensive collection of antique jewelry? Or should I be envious?

When I look up envy in my dictionary, it says it is “a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by another’s better fortune.” Okay, then, I must be envious.

But then I look up jealous and it says “envious or resentful of a person or a person’s advantages.” You know you’re in trouble when the word envious is used to define jealous. Should I be jealous instead, then?

What exactly is the difference here?

In practice, people use the word jealousy in a way that overlaps with envy. But there is a distinction between the two terms. After seeing what Grammar Girl had to say and investigating the psychological distinction between the two states, I decided that Common Errors in English Usage has the most useful definition:

You can be envious of what others have that you lack (like a rare and beautiful piece of jewelry).

Jealousy, on the other hand, involves wanting to hold on to what you do have. This is why this term comes up a lot in romantic relationships that are threatened by another person.

So…

I am envious of of your fabulously expensive collection of antique jewelry. As your friend, I don’t understand why you won’t let me borrow that sinuously appealing snake amulet to impress my boyfriend. Just once? Pleeeease?

Fine. Clearly you are jealous of your jewelry collection and you don’t want any of it to get lost through carelessness. I guess I can understand that. What I can’t understand is your constant flaunting of your wealth and beauty in front of my boyfriend. I can’t help but be jealous, you know. It’s early days in our relationship. And when you’re around I feel like I’m second best.

Oh, so now you’ve decided to wear that sexy snake amulet when you know we are going out with my boyfriend? For the love of…I thought you were my friend! Hey, you don’t look so good. You look weird. You’re…changing? What the —

Okay, now she’s gone and turned in to a garter snake. Wow, I’m so glad I didn’t wear that amulet. I guess I don’t have to be envious of her good looks any more!

Bonus Word: Jewelry

How do you spell jewelry? The British spelling is jewellery, and the American spelling is jewelry. (As a Canadian, I end up dealing with both of them.) Which version do you prefer?

***

This post is dedicated to Jaso and Brenna Layne.

Image from Wikimedia Commons

Unless otherwise noted, definitions are from the Canadian Oxford Dictionary.

Stay tuned for Monday’s post, when I will kidnap the know-it-all letter K…

Rogue Words from A to Z: I Before E, Except After Idiots Drink Too Much Coffee

April 10, 2015April 6, 2015Sue Archer 63 Comments

How many of you had this rule taught to you in school?

I Before E

Except After C

Or When Sounded as A

As in Neighbour and Weigh.

There’s another version of this too, which goes

I Before E

Except After C

When the Sound is EE.

This rhyme would be helpful if it weren’t for those words that are exceptions to the rule. Words like their, weird, and caffeine are some of the more common ones. In fact, there are so many words that are exceptions to the I before E “rule” that some believe it is useless and should be abandoned.

Many of us have had this rhyme drilled into us in childhood and struggle daily with remembering how to spell the exceptions properly. Even drinking several cups of coffee, with all its caffeine, doesn’t keep our brains sharp enough to deal with these weird words.

So for today, I’d like to share a very short parable about coffee to help you recall some of the most critical words that break the I before E spelling rule.

After drinking a surfeit of caffeine, a kaleidoscope of weird images seized their attention like either a scientifically precise heist or a nonpareil sleight of hand. They saw foreign sovereigns leisurely riding feisty heifers of fantastical height. The resulting counterfeit seismic disturbance made them forfeit lunch.

The moral of this story: Don’t drink too much coffee…and be sure to take all spelling “rules” with a grain of salt!

Do you have an ie or ei word that you struggle with? And do you prefer coffee or tea?

***

This post is dedicated to Carrie Rubin.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, where I will take a jab at that jittery letter J…

Rogue Words from A to Z: A History of Homely Hauntings

April 9, 2015April 3, 2015Sue Archer 45 Comments

Is that decrepit old haunted house historical or historic? Or neither?

The word historical means “of or relating to or occurring in history.” Historical refers to something that happened in the past.

Josephine looked around in interest as she followed the tour guide through the creepy old manor. She stopped in front of a painted portrait of a young, dark-haired woman with a protruding nose and sharp black eyes.

“Who is this?” she asked the guide. “She looks rather homely.”

“Historical evidence indicates that this is the daughter of the original owner,” said the guide. “She tragically went missing one night, and no one ever saw her again.”

The word historic, on the other hand, means “historically significant” — a momentous happening or development. An event can be historical without being historic. Only important events are historic.

“I’m surprised I never heard about her,” said Josephine.

The guide raised her eyebrows. “Her disappearance was quite a historic event in these parts.”

“Well, it can’t have been that historic if no one talks about it any more,” pointed out Josephine.

The guide sniffed her disdain at this pronouncement.

(Side note: An event is a historic event, not an historic event. The h in historic should be treated like any other consonant.)

So is this old building historic, or historical? It’s neither. A house that still exists is in the present, not the past. But the house could be of historical interest to those who study history.

“Well, really,” said Josephine, annoyed, “if this house is of such historical interest, they should do a better job of advertising it. And make it more homey for visitors,” she said, eyeing the cobwebs in the corners.

“Some people say that the house is haunted by the spirit of the missing woman,” said the guide, glaring, “and that bad luck will come to those who bring negative energy with them.”

“Well, that was subtle,” said Josephine. “I have better ways to spend my time than being insulted. I’m leaving.” She stalked off down the hall. The guide shut the light off and trailed behind her, thankful that this was her last tour of the day.

In the gloom, the eyes of the portrait followed them.

Bonus Word: Homely

The word homey means “homelike.” Homely originally shared this meaning, but this has changed over time. In British English, homely means simple or unpretentious. But in American English, it means unattractive or plain. I’ll leave you to decide whether the woman in the portrait was insulted!

Do you have any good haunted house stories that you’d like to share? 🙂

***

This post is dedicated to Jaso.

Image of Haunted House by Harald Hoyer, from Wikimedia Commons

Definitions and usage information were sourced from Garner’s Modern American Usage. Thanks for reading!

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, where I will immobilize the intractable letter I…

Rogue Words from A to Z: You May Be Good, But I’m the Goodest

April 8, 2015April 5, 2015Sue Archer 49 Comments

Good seems like a nice, simple word at first glance. Most of the time our use of good is good enough. But if we want to use it perfectly well, we need to know how good is different from the word well.

Well can be used as either an adjective (describing a noun/pronoun) or an adverb (describing a verb/adjective). When we say “I feel well,” well is describing the pronoun I. When we say “She did well,” well is describing the verb did. So far, so good. 🙂

Good, on the other hand, is only supposed to be used as an adjective. You can say, “I feel good,” (nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!) but not “She did good.”

To complicate matters, we’ve developed some “acceptable” sayings in English that do use good as an adverb. An example of this is “a good many more.” Why these exceptions? I have no idea.

At least we can agree that there is no such word as goodest. (Even though that would actually make sense. Who decided best was the way to go?)

To show some of the many ways good is used, here is a short story. I’ve put an ✕ next to any incorrect usages, so you can spot them in your own writing.

You May Be Good, But I’m The Goodest X

Gareth was dining alone at his usual table in the Gargoyle Monster Hunters Club when that blasted braggart Stuffington came in.

“Good day, old chap,” said Stuffington. “You don’t mind if I sit here, do you?” He casually slid into the chair across from Gareth.

Gareth ignored him and sipped his Earl Grey tea while studiously reading the paper. Hmm. More rumours of ghost sightings in the slums.

Undeterred, Stuffington announced, “I suppose you’ve heard about my good deed for the day. I’m feeling quite good about it, naturally. Always happy to do my part.”

“I’m sure you are,” muttered Gareth behind the pages.

“It’s not every day you get to take on a gaggle of galumphing golems. There were a good many more of them than I was expecting, but I did them but good. The good people of our city won’t be bothered by them again. They are gone for good.”

“And yet, you’re still here,” said Gareth darkly. He gave up and folded down his paper, glaring at Stuffington.

“Oh, don’t be jealous, old boy. You did good ✕ taking down those ghouls in that gallery, even if one of them did get away. It’s not your fault you’re not as good as I am. You’ll get there when you’re good and ready. You should really read my monster-hunting manual, it would do you good. Pick up some tips.”

“You know, I’m really not feeling well,” said Gareth, getting up from the table. “I’ll see you another time, Stuffington.”

“Oh, let me drive you home. I insist.” Stuffington trailed after him, talking about how the engine of his new motorcar ran so good ✕ that he always made it everywhere in good time.

Gareth felt a prickling at the back of his neck as they left the club. He instinctively ducked sideways as a giant flapping noise came from behind him. He could feel the whoosh of air going over him as a man shrieked.

He looked up and saw Stuffington being carried away by an enormous grey gargoyle.

“Goodbye,” said Gareth, not without some satisfaction.

I love these gargoyles from Paisley Abbey!

Bonus Word: Galumph

To galumph means either to move noisily and clumsily or to go prancing in triumph. The second meaning was coined by Lewis Carroll in his fabulously fun poem Jabberwocky.

***

Gargoyle picture © User:Colin / Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY-SA-3.0

Definitions were supplied by the Canadian Oxford Dictionary.

This post is dedicated to Lori MacLaughlin and Shawn. Thanks for reading!

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, where I will hilariously hunt down the horrible letter H…

Rogue Words from A to Z: Furthering Femininity in Fantasy

April 7, 2015April 7, 2015Sue Archer 63 Comments

Who here gets irritated at how women are drawn on fantasy book covers?

It’s better than it used to be, but I still run across ridiculous illustrations of supposed swordswomen who would be killed in their first fight because their armour doesn’t cover all their vulnerable parts.

I’d like to use this terrible state of affairs to help explain when you should use farther vs. further.

Farther is used to describe actual physical distances.

Further is used to describe figurative distances.

To show the difference, let’s imagine a one-sided conversation between an illustrated woman and her book cover artist.

Woman: You know I can run farther in these impractical high-heeled boots than you ever could in your sensible footwear. Not that I want to. Seriously, who wears these things?

Artist: Hears nothing. Too busy focusing on the book details. Hmm, maybe the heels aren’t high enough…

Woman: If you push this any further, I’ll be forced to kick you where it hurts. Then you’ll be sorry for giving me these boots.

Artist: Looks up and frowns. After a brief pause, shakes his head irritably, then gets back to work.

Woman: You’re not good at listening, are you. Didn’t you read the book blurb? We’re travelling farther than anyone else has ever journeyed before, through freezing wastelands and frost giant-infested mountains. What possessed you to give me a skimpy top that I wouldn’t be caught dead in? And I will be dead if I wear that. I wouldn’t last through the night, let alone through my first fight!

Artist: Examines the drawing closely. Exclaims in triumph and starts adding a necklace that dangles between her bare cleavage.

Woman: You have a lot further to go in your understanding of women, pal. The modern definition of femininity includes practical clothing and jewelry that won’t strangle me while I’m kicking butt. So put a coat on me already. Or I quit!

Artist: Starts wondering if the cleavage is big enough. Maybe a skimpy vest to help emphasize those curves?

Woman: That’s it, I’m out. I’ll be somewhere far, far away. So don’t come looking for me.

Artist: Blinks at a suddenly empty page. Closes his eyes, then looks again. Maybe not quite an empty page. In tiny letters scrawled at the bottom of the page, he sees a message: These boots are made for walking…

Bonus Word: Femininity

One of my readers has noted that femininity is difficult to spell, and that it’s easy to write feminity. An interesting tidbit you may not know: Back in the fourteenth century, both of these spellings were used. Over time, femininity has become the standard. Probably because it matches the number of syllables in the corresponding word masculinity.

So if you accidentally spell feminity, you can take comfort in the idea that you are right, but have the bad luck to be living in the wrong century. 🙂

***

Note: This post has a North American slant. In British English, further is often used for both meanings.

This post is dedicated to Lori MacLaughlin and Ameena.

Definitions are from Garner’s Modern American Usage.

Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, where I will grapple with the ghastly letter G…

Rogue Words from A to Z: Endeavouring to Push the Envelope

April 6, 2015April 5, 2015Sue Archer 61 Comments

Special delivery! Here comes another rogue word for us to rip apart: envelope.

The word envelope is derived from the French word enveloppe (from envelopper, which means to envelop).

There are a number of difficulties in spelling this tricky word. Native French speakers often struggle with envelope in English because it has one p rather than two. But even native English speakers can have trouble: namely, understanding when to use envelope and when to use envelop.

Envelope (with an e, pronounced Ehn-vuh-LOPE or Ahn-vuh-LOPE) is a noun meaning a wrapper or enclosure. When applied to aircraft or other technology, it means a set of accepted performance limits. This is where we get the phrase “pushing the envelope.”

The explorers were excited when the new spacecraft was completed. They hoped to push the envelope of space exploration during their upcoming voyage.

Envelop (without the e, pronounced ehn-VEH-lup) is a verb meaning to completely enclose or surround something. Like many other verbs, -ed is added to the end when it is used in the past tense (enveloped).

The black velvet night enveloped the explorers’ spacecraft as they sped away from the Earth to a faraway galaxy.

For several years, Earth heard nothing from the brave pioneers. The head of the Space Exploration Agency felt as if he were enveloped in despair. His daughter had insisted on joining the outbound team, and now she was lost to him. He wondered why he even bothered to come in to the office any more.

Then one day he walked in and discovered a strangely glowing envelope on his desk. He carefully opened it up and read the words, “We made it, Dad!”

There was a blaze of warm light, and he felt his daughter’s arms envelop him in an enormous hug.

Bonus Word: Endeavour

Endeavour is another tricky word to spell.

To help you remember the “ea” part of endeavour, think of yourself as an explorer going “full speed ahead” on an endeavour. Ahead has an “ea” combination just like the “ea” in endeavour.

Endeavour is also tricky because the ending is spelled -our in British English and -or in American English. Even NASA had trouble getting this one sorted out.

Which spelling do you prefer, endeavor or endeavour? And where will you go exploring today?

***

Picture of space shuttle Endeavour from NASA

This post is dedicated to Celine Jeanjean, Naturelover, and Nicole De Courval. Thanks for reading!

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, where I will flatten the formidable letter F…

Rogue Words from A to Z: Don’t Be Defiant, It’s Definitely Limiting

April 4, 2015April 3, 2015Sue Archer 81 Comments

Did you know that definitely is the most misspelled word in the English language?

One of the most common ways to misspell definitely is to use an “a” where there should be an “i” and write the word as definately. This is an easy mistake to make. When we pronounce the word definitely out loud, we make an “uh” sound on the third syllable (called a schwa): def-in-uht-ly. Since the “uh” sound is often spelled with an “a,” it makes sense that definitely should have an “a.” It doesn’t. But then, when has the English language ever made sense?

When people are really confused, they write the word defiantly, which won’t get flagged in your spellcheck because it’s a real word. It comes from the verb “to defy.”

Definitely, on the other hand, comes from the word “finite,” which means to be bound by something or to have limits.

And this is the key thing for you to remember if you want to spell definitely correctly: it comes from the word “finite.” De-finite-ly.

To help you remember this, I have written a very short story.

The Tale of the Defiant Jerk, Whose Time On This Earth Was Limited

Once upon a time, there was a guy who decided that this was the day he was going to win the nuclear pie-eating contest. His girlfriend told him he was being foolish.

He said to her defiantly, “I can break the record. Those other people have limited willpower, and I am the king of contests.”

“No, you can’t,” she said. “It’s no good trying to defy nature. The size of your stomach is finite. It’s been proven definitively. It’s de-finite-ly true.”

But he ate the pie anyway, because he knew he was defin-ate-ly right.

And exploded.

He destroyed an infinite number of planets. What a jerk.

I guess his intelligence was finite, too.

Definitely.

***

This post is dedicated to Pat Sponaugle and Nicole Roder. Thanks for reading!

Image from Wikimedia Commons

For further reading on definitely, please check out these links:

Common Errors in English Usage: Definate

Time For A New Year’s Resolution? Definately? Defiantly? Definitely!

Stay tuned for Monday’s post, where I will endeavour to entrap the elusive letter E…